I am so sorry. Bullies have a bad habit of justifying their actions. She literally did NOTHING wrong. That's the part that scares me. That I could ever do that to someone so innocent and it felt GOOD. It was horrible. It is horrible. Sometimes I still get mad or jealous out of nowhere and my first instinct is to be nasty. I hate it because that is NOT me but I think I will always struggle. It breaks my heart but all I can do is be aware and distance myself from innocent people and let them know I'm feeling strange and it's not them. I smoke a lot of green for this reason. I don't want to be like that. I'm gonna work with a therapist to fix the last remaining triggers I have but I think it'll always be with me :( Thank you for seeing my heart and my intent. Really, thank you. I hate what I've done.